Margins of Error
by Saulie
Summary: He was a detective and an analyst and he had been aimed in this precise direction. Lcentric prompted vignettes.
1. eloquently new and abandoned to its

(The full prompt on this was 'Eloquently new and abandoned to its delirious beat'. Hardest. Prompt. Ever. For _L _of all people!)

A pulse always ran through the streets of cities, unnerving and unceasing and peculiar, wavering in intensity. Cities—countries—boundaries—_illusory constructs of society, _like the Arabic numeral system he sketched onto lined paper with well-chewed pencils, _1, 2, 3, population of 12,369,000_ caught in a rhythm shifted and too-unchanging, _Darwin's theory of evolution, _creatures adapt to the environment in which they find themselves or they (have the supply of blood and oxygen to an area of heart muscle blocked by a clot in a coronary artery) disappear.

L could not see it all, not quite, within the dimensions of a computer monitor. He had all the statistics and all the graphs, even that one, the one that had so shocked the Japanese investigators (hadn't they ever heard of Bernelli? What was education supposed to be? Did you have to be Light Yagami to understand a simple concept with what information was provided you? Was that how it was?) with the spikes like a clustered mountain range indicating irregularity. Two stretching sides that never made a solid triangle. A straight line was stasis and stasis was not acceptable,

he was a detective and an analyst and he had been aimed in this precise direction. He knew what he desired to do and it almost coincided with what Quillsh Wammy and his other benefactors probably intended. An instrument is created to serve its purpose in whatever way it sees fit, if it is dangerous enough.

--Ah, yes; that was the point at hand.

_Forty-three point six percent already apprehended and imprisoned. _

(desperate faces against locked doors)

_What is he _thinking?

…The idea that was Kira would move from provoking curiosity into inciting a public to delirium.

_If brought to trial, Kira could plausibly seek a successful insanity defense, but he would never do it. _

(delirium causes trouble)

Kira may have been mad as a march hare but he was consumed by righteous pride. L understood that very well. Righteous pride was ravenous for attention. L simply did not like to lose, but he understood that, other differences not withstanding.

He and Kira and their intangible-confrontation, _this is called a battle of wits, _that was what caught the right kind of eyes. L, yes, he had been caught up in the delirium of victory and its scent (sweet—like strawberries, _fresh _strawberries) and had not stepped out of it yet.

_Kira! Come on, and kill me! _

Shadowy and deliciously _new; _sharp and elite with a deadly elegance.

L was antipating this greatly.

(setting down a teacup off-center of the saucer as it balanced, precarious)

_I will find you. _

There was a pulse that ran through urban thought, dangerous and defiant and decided, beating counterbalance to another,

(the world was learning surely that pulses stopped when evil came to call)

If he could have brought an absolute end to it then, he would not have done so.


	2. light as a ballerina

_(…Yeah, this prompt was weird. XD Crack, anyone?) _

Soichiro Yagami had left the room with the cameras for the briefest of moments, but returned to find L shaking with laughter.

"Bravissimi, Light-kun," he managed, "a perfect _arabesque--_" --and again, he dissolved into giggling. _Giggling._

"What?" --Could he help being alarmed?

"I believe you should not worry, Yagami-san," answered L, with nigh-unto perfect, sudden calm. "I do not think that Kira would be a fan of the ballet. It seems very improbable."

--ah, so they had found the tutu video. He distinctly remembered telling Sachiko to throw that thing away, but now, it seemed, Light's greatest embarassment was working in their favor. 


	3. shakespeare

_To be or not to be, that is the question._

_No,_ L thought absently. _No, it really isn't,_ and placed the book carefully back on the shelf.


	4. the way it is

L hates very little but he dislikes quite a lot, and one of the things he dislikes is self-delusion. He knows he must dislike it fairly strongly, for it is abundantly useful and it still makes him irritated every time he thinks of it. He is not above liking something useful because it's useful, and for no other reason. Honestly speaking he is really not above a lot when it comes to accomplishing his goals—_honestly speaking; _he really cannot stand the necessity of lying to oneself. Lying to others is simple. Lying to oneself is ridiculous.

(--_if Light Yagami _is_ Kira--) _

Yes?

Yes.

There is no question;

the members of the Kira investigation group as selected by the most obvious and most unseen of selection processes from the mess of watered-down obligation that was the Japanese police force, they do not want to see the situation as it stands. It really does hinder progress. Luckily, he's L, and he only has to give them half of what they want to keep them satisfied enough to do as he tells them.

He says to noble Yagami-san: _I am also childish and hate losing_, and still even he misses the point.

It's Aizawa who calls him on what he's already admitted, muttering something indistinct and aggravated.

L says to Aizawa politely, _what was that, Aizawa-san? _

The accusation is, _you—you yourself said these are human lives we're talking about, but you sure as hell don't treat them that way. _

_I don't…? _–and the question mark is only a courteous half-presence, but it's inquisitive enough that Aizawa feels he must answer it. It's a bad police instinct, that; answering questions posed to you automatically.

_They're just—numbers, to you! Graphs and statistics and percentages, not like they're real people; it's si—_

_It isn't as if Kira thinks of them as individuals either, Aizawa-san, _is the answer L gives truthfully. What he really would like to say is "Deaths are a consequence and that's the way it is; deal with it," but he saves that kind of phrasing for rainy days and the other answer was more to the point.

And, yes, there's Light Yagami, nodding in agreement: _That's right. Kira can't possibly be judging criminals as individuals and killing them on this scale; it makes sense—unpleasant as it is—to think like he does. _

Judging.

(--if Light Yagami _is _Kira--)

Light-kun could almost turn it into an art.

L is not impressed.


	5. change of plans

Everything changed the instant he recognized the pattern.

(the police would recognize it several weeks later; he always arrived at it first. The shock of pleasure that came from being _the first to know _was dimmed by the shock of _knowing.) _

…_One person. _

_It is definitely one person. An individual. Why? –The heart attacks. How are they doing it? –No. Not yet. Why are they doing it? …Of course. A person like _that. _How ridiculous. The criminals targeted… (_scrolling through statistics) _…Yes, he's using some discrimination, but this is still an incredibly childish thing to do…with…that…power. _

'_Power'? _

…_How does he do it? _

_Who is he? _

…_They will notice soon enough…_

He had been following a particularly high-profile murder case out of sheer boredom; he figured he was several days from solving it. But—that was negligible. This was murder on a larger scale; this was murder with _direction. _

_An idealist. _

…Besides, L thought, absently dismantling a parfait, _this killer will kill the other the day his name is released. _

_Do my work for me until I catch you. _


	6. what is meaningless

There are some days when L finds the dwindling number of sugar cubes in the cabinet far more alarming and meaningful than yet another batch of felons falling to Kira's hand.

L thinks that calling that 'inhuman' is 100 percent inaccurate.

It is more human to not care than to care, about something like that.

How else would Kira succeed this far?


	7. terror

_Soichirou Yagami, Tota Matsuda, Kanzo Mogi, Shuichi Aizawa, Hideki Ide, Hirokazu Ukita. _Quintessential and Japanese, politely announced, syllable-by-syllable—of course it was unnecessary (six out of three hundred and sixty-two; less than one point seven percent—_lower than expected _but who, even the Japanese police, had high expectations for the Japanese police), a formality, honestly: L had received data days earlier informing him who could be trusted among the NPA. Each name had a photograph (_if I was Kira_) and he mouthed each aloud, memorizing the sequence of lines across the screen and features for each.

They would, he thought, probably be bringing their names with them. Silliness. Then again, it was a name—sort of—they were coming to meet in a few days' time, at that name's invitation. A name was what you made of it. He liked the way the letter looked in old English calligraphy. He did not anticipate ever growing bored of that.

Himself and Watari, that made nine. Not accounting for aberrations.

…He'd see for himself. What they were like—

**_Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! _**

****(If I was Kira)

_If I were Kira, _L thought that day, dryly, _I would not be terrified of my adversaries. _


	8. sit back

It's the way they flinch when they see the laptop that confirms L's fourth hypothesis about the Kira investigative group: they manage their reverence in abstracts. They see him. He sees their eyes. Their eyes are very obvious; widening and taking in his presence, which—well, L is L, but he's called this person who they're seeing 'Ryuuzaki' and so it's Ryuuzaki they meet now, that they will come to know, that will come to know them (L already does) in the coming months. And he is standing there. He tells them, 'I'm L.'

A laptop in the corner glows with one letter of English script and it's at _that _they instinctively glance, when they notice. He has spoken into microphones and let his distorted voice emanate from a device like that and tell them things which they did not necessarily want to know and which they have (ah, yes) cursed themselves for not thinking of before, before—

They're throwing reactions at his feet.

He stores them away for later, if he needs them, but he doesn't anticipate that. L has never really cared what anyone thinks of him, professionally or otherwise, so long as he has the means to accomplish what he wishes.

…Is there an otherwise--?

Possibly.

He munches on a biscuit now and looks blankly at Yagami-san.

What they are and who they are.

It is very—

"Ryuuzaki—"

Interesting, he has to conclude, although the word is inadequate.

Inadequate: he cannot say whether they are inadequate or not because it does not matter; shouldn't and won't. He works with what he has.

This is the way you conduct an investigation:

(swirling a lollipop absently in his tea, clinking against the sides of the cup without much rhythm)

you act, but you also listen.

L tilts his head curiously when Matsuda asks him if he ever gets tired of doing this; wishes they could all just go home. When he doesn't answer Matsuda just keeps talking (he talks a lot), about what he'd do, what's he's planning to do when this whole Kira thing is just over and done with. _You know? _Like, he's going to feel so much better, he's going to go out and maybe meet a girl and be able to tell her his real name, how about that, isn't that going to be—

But what about him, Ryuuzaki, what—is there a girl he likes, or?

He sits back and smiles a little. Matsuda is stupid, but he is entertaining and a breath of fresh air—he talks like he's from 'outside'.

Matsuda's egged on: "Is there, is there? Ryuuzaki! I never would've—"

"Definitely not, Matsuda-san," and it's the talking-to-Matsuda voice that at least half of them have adopted, the how-can-you-be-so-dumb. Dry. A little exasperated, "I have not thought at all about something like that."

L understands something that Light Yagami understands and no one else in this building really does: when you do not care to do something, you can rely on cause and effect to do it for you. Composers of music understand this. Kira always has.

_That _Kira, anyway.

--he knows that he is not the only person who recognizes that they're in the eye of the storm.

But he—who is Ryuuzaki, who is L—this whole situation has given him the strange awareness that his work is spiraling outwards more than it ever has, and it's almost…gratifying. The closest he has ever come to…team-work, he supposes; a common cause; united against Kira. Or something to that effect. He does not find this surprising, because of course that is the way Kira works. _For justice! _–rallying supporters, to each his comeuppance at last, the proud, the righteous, the zealot-elite standing as Kira's allies to whatever end, oh, yes, Kira has been working this way from the start. Kira's ideal has charisma. Thus he can command and direct from afar. L's ideal does not, because it is not an ideal. If L had wanted to be an ideologue, he would have written essays, not asked favors from police organizations. L relies on confidence and intelligence to have the support of these few; he does not ask for their respect and only insists on their obedience for the sake of practicality, and—

He wraps his arms around his knees and stares at closed curtains; he has set much in motion and in private he can smirk.

From Light Yagami, he learned that.


	9. felt

In the forty-three seconds before he dies L feels many things at once. Physically and otherwise. If he had the time to sort them and analyze dispassionately what—

Irritation

Shock

(Light Yagami's panic-that-isn't, posture begging him not to vanish)

Irony

–odd exultation—

_I was right—_

…_but…I…_

If he had more _time—_

Amongst all of it he notices later with some amusement that he did not bother to note what it felt like, to have one's heart refuse and take the rest of one's body down with it.


	10. ruination

(You know me; if I had my way the entire first arc would've been hopelessly plotless due to excessive dialogue between these two. I am so lame. That said, I never thought L missed this particular point. )

Light noticed L looking disgruntled sometime in late afternoon. He assumed no one else had noticed that—it took a certain level of awareness to catch any kind of change in Ryuuzaki's expression, and another level entirely to understand what it meant. –he had to understand Ryuuzaki to that extent, of course. The man suspected him of being Kira. It was only natural. A watchful eye for a watchful eye;

so to speak.

'Disgruntled' wasn't the word, maybe. Something more like 'irritated'. Momentarily.

L was at his computer again, simultaneously scanning through the Yotsuba data and checking American stock markets, for some reason.

"Something wrong, Ryuuzaki?"

L shook his head. "No."

"…You look kind of annoyed."

"It doesn't signify." –continuing his work.

…Did Ryuuzaki _always _have to talk like this? "I'm curious."

"Yes, I noticed."

(L still thought that Light Yagami talked an awful lot.)

"Well?"

L abruptly spun his chair around, pushing off the desk and jerking Light a few inches closer as the chain wrapped around the base of the chair with a _clack. _"I was just thinking something, Light-kun."

_Aren't you always? _thought Light.

"About what?"

"Kira."

_Thought so. _

"What about Kira?"

Didn't L usually speak his thoughts directly, or not at all? Why was he being so reticent?

_He isn't testing me again, is he? _

"I was just thinking," said Ryuuzaki, matter-of-fact, "that the central cause of Kira's final defeat will undoubtedly be Kira."

"—what?"

"I told you I was childish, Light-kun." A slight twitch that might've been a smile, or at least amusement. "It's no wonder that that irritates me."


	11. off leash area

(Rereading some of volume 7; thinking about the end of the chain business…)

There was a reddish sort of indentation around his wrist, at first—the echo of a bracelet an inch or so wide, which faded within two hours. After that, not much of anything. It felt different in terms of balance, he supposed. Not having that weight to one side: pulling and vanishing to go slack and pulling again. No ironic sound of metal striking metal .

Physical awareness was a distraction at a time like this.

(_Something is _not--)

Higuchi had been caught in the act, but he hadn't been _caught. _True, he'd been a worthless human being, but that was hardly the point. Death (unsanctioned!) was not enough for anyone who had been Kira. Death was not even a very effective punishment, which was one of the thousands of flaws L had objected to in Kira's plan in the first place. What a—

He could feel Light Yagami's presence regardless, he noticed absently. The distance, with or without the chain, was almost exactly the same.

_Why stay here? _

--it had never been those measures that kept Yagami in his sight; it had been his own suspicion and that suspicion was not gone. That _he _felt watched—that was one of the seven facts bothering him since the conclusion of the Yotsuba affair, and not the first in importance, and not the last. He was not looking for victory and he had not found it. He wasn't looking for justice. He was looking for _proof. _

…L didn't mind no longer being chained to Light Yagami.

The Kira case still held his chains, though, and Light-kun was free of it.

(an anchor, maybe?)

_Useless. _

"It's not over," he had told Watari recently. And Watari had answered, in that calm voice, that he was aware of that—and then had the, the gall to ask whether Ryuuzaki wanted it to be? and he had answered _yes, of course I do, _while being wretchedly unsure whether or not it had always been true. He knew it was now. Very much. This…instinctive uneasiness.

He was fully prepared to continue being pragmatic about this, but he knew also that in the twenty-four years he could remember his instincts had never, ever been wrong.


End file.
